Feeling the need to control? Try trusting and letting go, the results are powerful
We’ve all heard the infuriating phrase about handing things over to the universe but for most of us it feels like a high stake game. Are we really supposed to hedge our bets on something that we can’t see or that some of us have doubts about even existing? Most often it is just so much easier for us to go into control mode, constantly trying to figure out how we are going to make things happen, being rigidly attached to a path to get us there and doing everything we can to make sure that things work out exactly as we feel they should.
I used to be exactly the same [and being honest have to constantly watch that I don’t fall into old habits] of trying to control exactly how my dreams come to life. However, it was about 5 years ago that I started to get a massive universal lesson. Around 5 years ago I had set my mind on the fact I wanted to bring in more income and to get out of a rut I felt I was in, I knew I wanted to do that by setting up my own business, but that seemed far too out of reach so I started focusing on how I could do this in my corporate job. I got everything mapped out on how all the pieces would need to fall into place and then I started pushing, striving, working as hard as I could and was in a frequent state of worry that it might not work out. It was then things started going wrong. Pay rises were promised then never materialised, I got the job promotion and loads more work but things became increasingly difficult and I got more and more stressed. Everything started to not really work out, my anxiety soared, I got shingles and to be quite frank I started getting utterly infuriated with the Universe. Why wasn’t it doing what I wanted? Why wasn’t it following the path that I had set out?
I look back now and realised that the Universe was doing everything it could to help me and to teach me a lesson - mainly that the ‘how’ was not really up to me. It was shutting as many doors as it could to get me to notice the ones it was trying to open. It was teaching me that control is not the way to get the magical things that have now come into my life like a business I love, freedom, flexibility, travel and yes the abundance. What I hadn’t realised was that the Universe had heard me and rather than trusting that all these blocks were happening for a reason, I had fallen into a state of resistance. Something I constantly see with my clients.
It is no co-incidence that when I am most in a state of flow and trust and being as playful as I can that amazing things happen. That when I trust and let go that I have been heard that things manifest quickly. In ‘Ask and It is Given’ [Hicks] we are told it is not the universe granting our desires that is the problem but our resistance to allowing what we want to flow to us.
So if you are finding yourself worrying, controlling, resisting… then I urge you to follow my key tips in order to get yourself more aligned to a state that allows you to receive. The magic comes when you trust and let go.
If you are finding things going wrong at the moment or you are having difficult people in your life ask yourself this. What lesson am I needing to be taught? What does the Universe want me to look at? What parts of myself do I need to heal?
Get clear on what you are asking for and what help you need and then look for the signs. They are quite literally everywhere. Pick something that is your sign [mine is a robin] and ask for it to show up to guide you on certain things
Start paying attention - what people, conversations, experiences are appearing in your life - what is the message? I came out of the tube station next to my old work place the other day and there was a sign sitting there saying “are you living the life you really want?’ and I knew it was telling me I was on the right path.
Are you resisting the universal signs and your path because you feel that you know the best way to get to where you want to be? The Universe knows the short cut and it often doesn't look how we think
Imagine you are on a river rapid and that the more you can go where the current takes you the more fun you will have… start embracing the uncertainty, enjoying it
Repeat to yourself “I trust and let go” or I love this by Bernstein “Today I surrender my goals and plans to the care of the universe. I offer up my agenda and accept spiritual guidance. I trust there is a plan far greater than mine. I know that where there was lack and limitation there are spiritual solutions and creative ideas. I step back and let love lead the way. They will be done.”
Ask yourself… what am I trying to control? Why? is it because I fear it won’t work out? The energy behind that is resistance… start trying to shift that to an excited optimism that there might be a far more exciting way that the Universe has in store for you.
Make a note of the signs you feel you see, the miracles that are coming in everyday
Lastly, I leave you with this email from a client of mine who was openly reluctant to trusting and letting go and since she has is seeing the most amazing results.
“If you told me even a few months ago that I would be doing yoga multiple times a week in addition to other daily exercise, restructuring my career and business to make sure i really love and get fulfilment from what I do every day, and living a relatively busy, sociable, active life just two months after the break up of a 6 year relationship - I would have told you to get your head read and then I probably would have called Caroline and asked her to help me save my relationship from failure. And she would have said something incredibly infuriating and undoubtedly correct about the leaving it up to the universe and everything happening for a reason. But since I actually started believing that and trying to work with it, the improvements in my life and well-being have been massive. My default setting is resistance. So at first it sounded like I was being asked to leave my life up to fate and sit back and wait for miracles. But working with Caroline has gotten me to the point where I can see that what I need to do is align myself with the things that bring me joy both in work and outside, and then sit back and wait for miracles - knowing that the universe always has my back. Even in the years of feeling lost before working with Caroline, the universe still had my back, constantly slapping me round the face with reminders that I wasn’t really living the life I wanted, and giving me back all the self criticism, misery and catastrophising ten fold. That was easy to accept compared to the realisation that this also can work in a positive way - if I can be brave and honest enough to do what truly brings me joy the universe magic kicks in and hands it to you on a plate and gives you the joy back ten fold. It’s something I still have a lot of learned, subconscious resistance too - the recognition of which lets me be aware that I have the choice to keep working with the universe despite my egoic and logic driven resistance, and the choice to work regularly with Caroline is a huge part of sustaining this. One of Caroline’s many gifts is that she can get you to figure out what truly brings you meaning and purpose even when you don’t think you deserve to know what it is, let alone live it. And it definitely helps that she’s got the universe on speed dial 🧙♀🤯--”